Lately I have been noticing that my kiddos are horrible minders. They literally are ignoring everything I say, at least the first 5x. I am repeating myself over and over again and it is the most annoying thing! The truth is, this was a huge problem for us last summer. So I took charge.
I decided I was going to ask once, warn once, and then discipline if I was not obeyed. I even stuck a post-it note to my kitchen backsplash where I would see it every day to remind myself. It worked like a charm and after several weeks the kids were obeying the first time I said anything. It was wonderful. However, as they got to be better minders, I started forgetting to stick to my ask once, warn once, and discipline routine. Little by little I got more relaxed and then they got more relaxed and here we are....6 months later and right back to our original problem, just as bad as it was before.
By this morning I'd had it with the non-minding and both kids were sent to their rooms even before breakfast. I was in a bad mood and wishing I could ship them off to some distant relative in another country. Then something hit me and this is the truth as I see it; I am learning to be a mom just as much as they are learning their little place in this world. Sometimes I forget to keep being a good mom, just like they forget to be good minders. If I had stuck to my original minding routine-even as they would get more relaxed about it, I probably wouldn't be repeating myself multiple times to my little darlings. And they wouldn't be getting punished at 8:30 in the morning by a crazy-eyed, half-raving lunatic they call mother.
So to stop that ever-vicious circle I promise to be diligent in our good routines. After all, I should be setting the good example for them and sticking to what I know to be right.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Oh that vicious circle
Posted by Kelly at 9:28 PM
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4 comments:
Amen sister! I just had almost the same exact moment 2 days ago. It is hard being a mom isn't it. These children are so precious and special but yet, they can make me go crazy with anger daily. I keep thinking of your v.t. lesson everyday and what your mom said...about reading the scriptures daily. I'm glad we are companions. I always learn a lot from you. Don't be hard on yourself. It is a learning process for us like you said. We learn line upon line.
I've been having the same realization at our house. Being a mom is a constant learning process. I can only imagine what we will have to learn when they become teenagers. I think it is funny Mandy mentioned what you said in the v.t lesson because I've been thinking about that a lot this week too. I have plenty of room for improvement.
You're too good. It does seem to be a vicious cycle doesn't it? We do the same thing it seems every six months. Good luck with sticking to your guns for the long haul.
Good point, Kel! Something I definitely need to remember, my kids aren't always perfect but neither am I and I would never let them freak out at me the way I freak out at them sometimes :)
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